I have always had a belief that things happen for a reason. Maybe even are preordained for us. We have choices to make all through our lives, some of these choices bring happiness, some sadness, some bring fulfilment, some disappointment. I believe it is how we deal with the end emotion that triggers regret or a learning curve.

Of course things have gone wrong in my life. Some causing me great sadness that lasts. I’m not talking about depression here, just sadness. Even if momentarily after disastrous decisions, embarrassing situations or just everyday life fails I was caught up in I felt regret, I always try to take a positive element away with me. Yes, it is very difficult sometimes, but it does help.

I left home at 16 amidst my mother’s horror & outrage. I left because she smothered me. She didn’t want me to make the mistakes she had, fair enough, but she went too far the other way. The only place I was allowed to go unaccompanied were church events. I was isolated from school friends, as I was sent to a school a 30 minute school bus ride away. (It was actually two busses away by public transport.) I was the only pupil from my primary school who went to that secondary school. Luckily I made the grade & was allowed to leave.

Yes, I had regrets about leaving my home, my family, my friends etc. But I had new adventures to have, a life to begin. The first year was a bit shaky, living in one room, by myself, but then I gradually made friends. Made memories, patched up the relationship with my mother. I then realised I had to put myself and my family through the pain of separation to find the happiness of independence.

I left someone very special when I moved away, I missed him every day for many years. I always wondered whether we would have made it as a couple. Last year in a break in lockdown we met up again. It was a disaster. We did try to keep in touch, but we’ve not made a good job of it. This has left me sad, but I don’t regret anything. If I hadn’t met up with him again I would always be wondering. Now I know, no way are we compatible. I will always love him, but at least now I don’t have to approve of his behaviour. We have moved in different directions, have different values and tastes. I don’t think he’s that keen on me anymore either………

Looking for the positive in a sad situation is not easy. It can take many years before it becomes apparent, but it is worth trying to find it. I find it very draining to dwell on something that makes me sad. Before now I have looked on the painful emotions I have encountered as the positive. If I had not experienced that emotion, I would not be able to write about it with real feeling. Positives come in all shapes & sizes, show themselves in the most unexpected situations, but are well worth seeking out.

Trust me….you won’t regret it❤️

Love M. XXX