I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming
Was that Santa’s sleigh I saw leaving
Piled up high with chocolates and sherry
Perched on top a cake with a cherry
No, it’s just a trolley at Christmas
Welcome to the retail business

I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming
Above the noise of colleagues screaming
Checkouts beeping, customers moaning
All the time with their gripe and groaning
No time to wish you Happy Christmas
Welcome to the retail business

I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming
A fight breaks out, no intervening
Let them battle it out for the joint
No, not that sort, but you have a point
That would make it a Wacky Christmas
Welcome to the retail business

I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming
6am and here they come streaming
In for their brussels, cranberry sauce
Pate, cheese and the stuffing of course
We always provide a tasty Christmas
Working in the retail business

I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming
No end to relentless demanding
Right up to closing on Christmas Eve
When joyfully, one by one we leave
To enjoy our own Happy Christmas
Far away from the retail business